我试着帮你改改,不知大家怎么看

来源: 2015-01-13 08:46:11 [博客] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读:
原文:My document had lost couple times, a manual script was stolen, a pc file was retrieved text part helped by a student.
Yesterday the large screen fell, causing partially by someone else, hitting my lap top, I was in a shock again. This urged me to finish quicker. So to avoid the ending: a hippo fell and died.

我的建议:

I lost some of my documents a couple of times. A manual script was stolen. The text part of a PC file was retrieved by a student.
Again, I was shocked yesterday after the screen of my laptop fell, right after it was hit by someone. It forced me to finish my work from the laptop more quickly than I supposed to do, in order to avoid my file got lost.

看你的写作,感觉是想用大的词汇,但是不太通顺。具体也说不清楚,语言就是一种习惯和感觉,英文写作我还从来没练过,下一步应该好好地从零开始。希望我改后的短文忠实愿意。你写的意思我一看就懂,也许是相同的中文思维以至于我们很容易明白对方,但是似乎本地人似乎不这样写出来。就像我们听外国人说中国话那样,能说到像大山和王渊源那样中文的水平,毕竟是凤毛麟角。