1 应用心理学 Applied psychology
After the student delivered the pizza to old Ken's house，Ken asked，"What is the usual tip?”
"Well，”replied the youth，"this is my first trip here，but the other blokes say if I get 5p out of you，I’II be doing great.”
"Is that sot”snorted Ken. "Well，just to show them how wrong they are，here’s five quid.”
"Thanks,”replied the youth，“I'll put this towards to my studies.”
"What are you studying”asked Ken. The lad smiled and said，"Applied psychology.”
2 有你教他真好Good Thing He Has You
While I was talking to a parent of one of my third-grade students, another teacher walked by. The mother, remarking how beautiful the woman was, said, "If my son had her for a teacher, he wouldn't be able to concentrate. " Then she paused and added, "Good thing he has you. "
3 牧羊人与官僚The Shepherd and the Bureaucrat
A bureaucrat was hiking when he came upon a shepherd tending a large flock. The bureaucrat took a fancy to the sheep and asked the shepherd, "If I can guess how many there are, may I have one?" The shepherd thought it unlikely the man would guess the exact number, so he agreed.
The bureaucrat guessed, "You have 287 sheep." The shepherd was astonished, since this was exactly right.
"Can I pick out my sheep now?" asked the bureaucrat. The shepherd grudgingly gave his permission. Selecting one, the bureaucrat slung it over his shoulders to carry home.
The shepherd got an idea." If I guess your occupation'," he said, "may I have my sheep back?" The bureaucrat was surprised, but figured there was little chance of the shepherd guessing correctly, so he went along. "You're a bureaucrat, "announced the shepherd. Amazed, the bureaucrat asked.
"How did you know?"
The shepherd replied, "Put the dog down and we'll talk about it.
4 青蛙的电话A Call from a Frog
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline and is told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you . "
The frog says, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," says the psychic. "Next semester in her biology class.
5 你不要知道吗Wouldn't You Know
I accompanied my eight-month-pregnant wife to her monthly checkup . We boarded the hospital's elevator to go to the appropriate floor. The only other passenger was an elderly man who studied intently and then said, "Boy."
Without another word, he got off at his floor. I was about to tell my wife how strange I thought he was acting when suddenly I realized she was wearing a T-shirt sporting the "Guess?" logo.
6 最后的生日The Very Last Birthday
When I was approaching 50, I announced to my three grown children that I no longer wanted to celebrate my birthday and that they could phone me instead of sending a gift. At first they protested, but finally they agreed to go along with my wish. So when the doorbell rang on the morning of my birthday, I was surprised to see the florist delivering a huge, beautiful plant. Suddenly, without a word, she rushed back to the truck and , with a sad look, turned once to glance at me. Puzzled, I read the card attached to the plant: "To Mom-with lots of love-on your very last birthday.
(from Internet)
