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ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live Kid’s table skit extended version

In response to the controversial ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live Kid’s table skit:

--start of transcript--

Jimmy Kimmel: America owes China a lot of money, $1.3 trillion dollars. How should we pay them back?

Braxton: Shoot cannons all the way over and kill everyone in China

Jimmy Kimmel: Kill everyone in China? OK, that’s an interesting idea.

Jimmy Kimmel: Yes.

Brayden: Put a huge wall up there so they don’t can’t can’t come to us.

Jimmy Kimmel: You are saying build a wall in China. The huge, great kind of wall.

Brayden: Yeah.

Jimmy Kimmel: That would never happen. Alley. When you owe somebody money, should you pay them back.

Alley: Never.

Jimmy Kimmel: Then they won’t lend you money any more.

Alley: Ooh. That’s the problem.

Jimmy Kimmel: Should this county be forced to pay our own debt?

Kids: Yes.

Jimmy Kimmel: But you just said “Kill every one in China” not a while ago. What happened to that.

Jimmy Kimmel: Should we allow the Chinese to live?

Kids: Yes, no.

Ava: But If we don’t allow them to live, then they will try to kill us.

Braxton: They ought to be killed

Alley: They will all be killed.

Ava: If we kill them, they will not pay us.

Jimmy Kimmel: Well, this has been an interesting edition of Kid’s Table — The Lord of the Flies edition. I want to thank my correspondents Brayden, Ava, Braxton, Alley. You’ve been wonderful. Let’s take a gummy break.

--End of transcript--

What if a smarter honor student Sam (age 10) was also invited to the Kid’s table, let it continue:

Jimmy Kimmel: Sam, you have been silent there for a while.

Sam: Something sounds weird here. What about Japan, our government owes Japan a lot of money too.

Braxton: Kill. Dad said we already have F-16 there.

Sam: What about allies in Europe, they hold our debt too.

Alley: Kill. Mom said NSA is already bugging on them.

Sam: What about grown-up’s retirement plans. They have treasury notes too.

Drayden: Kill. Dad and Mom both said their 401K and 403K are losing actual value everyday, like inmates number 401 and 403 waiting in death row to be killed.

Ava: Eh. It is getting a bit scary to own our government’s debt.

Sam: Don't be scared. It is safe. Textbook says it is backed by the full faith of our government.

Sam: Oh, maybe, not really. It is another way grown-ups saying "no collateral here”.

Jimmy Kimmel: Hey kids. The sky is not falling, though. We can still have Fed busy buying our debt.

Kids: Fed who?

Jimmy Kimmel: Treasury Department’s big brother who can legally dump all our debt into its balance sheet and keep all the debtors in balanced shape. Just like Mickey mouse can come to your household to take you into Disneyland and keep you happy.

Sam: But what happens when the debt becomes too big for the computers in the Fed to handle… Then nobody can take our debt …

Sam: Ohm. I get it. I guess. Our government will become so depressed to end its own life.

Sam: Or simply press the computer’s easy reset button to start all over again.

Jimmy Kimmel: Well. Time is up. Haven’t we had some fun tonight. Ladies and Gentlemen. "This has been an interesting edition of Kid’s Table — The Lord of the Flies edition", from ABC - American Broadcasting Company. To be clear, not from American Born Chinese. "I want to thank my correspondents Brayden, Ava, Braxton, Alley [and Sam]. You’ve been wonderful". As always, my purpose is to entertain, my objective is to make you laugh. Let’s take a gummy break.

Sam: Too much sugar.


Audience: Any point to take home?

Audience: Yes, apply a new credit card. It’s the kind of credit you can get without putting up a collateral.

Audience: But, I already tried yesterday. "Credit declined”.

Audience: I tried too. The interest rate offered was way to high.

Audience: We the people!

Audience: We the screwed!

Audience (some apparently get upset for weird reasons): This is getting too stupid. Shall we jump on the stage to kill the show now.

Audience: Yes we kill [it]!

Audience: Shall we allow the Jimmy Kimmel to live?

Audience: Only for humanitarian reasons. So we can punch Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Audience: GO, it's all unscripted.



Disclaimer:

The purpose is to entertain in the spirit of free speech. The objective is to have people be aware of the issues and make USA the best place to live on the planet. In case anyone is offended, you have the sincere apology. In case it still freaks you out, please seek ObamaCare, where no pre-existing condition can be declined. Try it, it is the law of the land. You will like it in the end, just like green eggs and ham.

All rights reserved. American Broadcasting Company (ABC), Jimmy Kimmel Live, Kids table, Mickey mouse, Disneyland are trademarks registered by third parties.