母亲节的晚餐 （笑脸笑话集之８，Rated R :)
来源: 笑_脸 于 09-05-12 07:34:39
母亲节晚上，一家４口来到预定的餐馆，人不多。我们桌的服务员是一位个子高高，蓝眼金发的白gg(不４一般滴帅！）。他殷勤地接过俺滴外套，稳油地为俺拉开椅子，又推回来放回俺PG下面，俺闻到帅哥熏死蚊子的古龙水味。
然后帅哥又把桌上的擦嘴布折好，温油地盖在俺滴大腿上，耳边响起温情的话"Everything I do, I do it for you!" 一掐大腿，４幻觉(4围观gg说的），蓝眼帅锅actually是说：My name is......
先点了drink, LG要了红酒，俩儿子要了乱７８糟的东西。
好戏开始，先俩小子说surprise!, 把给俺做的礼物拿出来，那个感动啊，全手工的。然后，老儿子把礼物拿出，儿子也喊surprise!（俺心里想: 撒普赖嘶个P! 信用卡帐单到鸟，俺是家里的出纳，谁买了啥东西俺还能不知道？精确到分呢。）
表面还是假装惊讶：wow! 谢谢啦！blahblah, 省略１０００字。老儿子说：本来想给你撒普赖嘶，不想用信用卡，结果发现身上现金木有那么多，只好这样了。这就是老夫老妻的坏处，太了解，谁都知道对方的谱。
俺赶快说：是撒普赖嘶啊，俺木有仔细看bill就付了（嘿嘿，恐怕俺LG不会信）。
蓝眼帅锅又来了，人很少，所以他跟俺们聊天。先夸两个儿子礼物好棒。
LG插嘴：我们家３个儿子，她常常说是每天照顾我们３个，所以是３个儿子的妈！
帅锅蓝蓝的迷死人的眼睛转向俺，说：那怎么可能？She is not even 18 yet. She looks like a teenager! （围观gg赶快记下，白gg就是这末宠女银滴）。
偶LG不乐意了，说：你恭维女银可以。可你知道the law of state XX, 你这句话不是要送俺进监狱吗？
大儿子开口了：Actually my mom is 38 and my dad is 39. They are quite old.(晕!）But they are working on getting us a baby sister!
小儿子抢着说：Yep, my mom told my dad if he did not work harder on it, my mom would be too old to have a baby .(昏倒，一点背景：我们本来是计划３个孩子，尤其有了两个臭小子，就希望能再有个baby girl. 所以我有时跟LG说起这事，但也不是非要不可，没想到俩臭小子都听到了）。
LG脸皮薄，又喝了点酒，就红着脸对老二说：Dan, I think you misunderstood your mom. She actually wanted YOU to work harder on your science project.
老二不示弱：You were right. But she also wants YOU to work harder on getting a baby girl! She said you went to Mumbai too much and missed a lot of days!（偶想钻桌底下了...)
蓝眼哥哥说： Then how is he supposed to do to get a baby girl?
听到这问题，偶吓晕了，大儿子说：He should set up a baby crib, paint one of our rooms pink, and get baby swing and toys. He is not doing any of these things. I think that is why my mommy was complaining that he is not working hard！
老二说：Mommy is not working hard either. She should eat a lot of junk food, like Nancy's mommy.(nancy's mommy怀孕时有food crave, 整天想吃chips) Then she would have a big fat tummy, like nancy's mommy. Then we will have a baby sister！：）
老二说：my mom hates her tummy! The other day, she was putting on a dress. You know， that purple ugly dress, very tight! And she asked me if that would show her belly. I said "a little bit". And she punched her tummy and said: DamX it! I will skip my lunch today!
偶彻底晕了，LG红着脸，转着手里的酒杯玩儿。现在才理解高英姬高老师的"外嫁辛酸"一文说到，她离婚后见过一个国gg, 后来国gg跟介绍人说，都很好，就是看到她那半大小子，旗杆竖不起来。芦苇mm还说看到外嫁白gg的妹妹晒幸福，心理特别高兴。因为万一那天被LG甩了，拖儿带女的，嫁国gg是不成了（那是自然，国gg标准是年轻漂亮的处长），还可以嫁白gg幸福，也还有退路:-)
不过看来俺是只有死守LG, 没有退路了，这俩半大小子，看来能让全世界哥哥旗杆都竖不起来. 这不，俺还没来得及跟蓝眼哥哥抛个媚眼呢，他就忙不跌说：You guys really like to have a baby sister, don't you? I'd better shut up.....拔腿就跑。。。
不好意思，俺钻桌底下跟大家招手了： Happy Mother's Day!
来源: 笑_脸 于 09-05-12 07:34:39
母亲节晚上，一家４口来到预定的餐馆，人不多。我们桌的服务员是一位个子高高，蓝眼金发的白gg(不４一般滴帅！）。他殷勤地接过俺滴外套，稳油地为俺拉开椅子，又推回来放回俺PG下面，俺闻到帅哥熏死蚊子的古龙水味。
然后帅哥又把桌上的擦嘴布折好，温油地盖在俺滴大腿上，耳边响起温情的话"Everything I do, I do it for you!" 一掐大腿，４幻觉(4围观gg说的），蓝眼帅锅actually是说：My name is......
先点了drink, LG要了红酒，俩儿子要了乱７８糟的东西。
好戏开始，先俩小子说surprise!, 把给俺做的礼物拿出来，那个感动啊，全手工的。然后，老儿子把礼物拿出，儿子也喊surprise!（俺心里想: 撒普赖嘶个P! 信用卡帐单到鸟，俺是家里的出纳，谁买了啥东西俺还能不知道？精确到分呢。）
表面还是假装惊讶：wow! 谢谢啦！blahblah, 省略１０００字。老儿子说：本来想给你撒普赖嘶，不想用信用卡，结果发现身上现金木有那么多，只好这样了。这就是老夫老妻的坏处，太了解，谁都知道对方的谱。
俺赶快说：是撒普赖嘶啊，俺木有仔细看bill就付了（嘿嘿，恐怕俺LG不会信）。
蓝眼帅锅又来了，人很少，所以他跟俺们聊天。先夸两个儿子礼物好棒。
LG插嘴：我们家３个儿子，她常常说是每天照顾我们３个，所以是３个儿子的妈！
帅锅蓝蓝的迷死人的眼睛转向俺，说：那怎么可能？She is not even 18 yet. She looks like a teenager! （围观gg赶快记下，白gg就是这末宠女银滴）。
偶LG不乐意了，说：你恭维女银可以。可你知道the law of state XX, 你这句话不是要送俺进监狱吗？
大儿子开口了：Actually my mom is 38 and my dad is 39. They are quite old.(晕!）But they are working on getting us a baby sister!
小儿子抢着说：Yep, my mom told my dad if he did not work harder on it, my mom would be too old to have a baby .(昏倒，一点背景：我们本来是计划３个孩子，尤其有了两个臭小子，就希望能再有个baby girl. 所以我有时跟LG说起这事，但也不是非要不可，没想到俩臭小子都听到了）。
LG脸皮薄，又喝了点酒，就红着脸对老二说：Dan, I think you misunderstood your mom. She actually wanted YOU to work harder on your science project.
老二不示弱：You were right. But she also wants YOU to work harder on getting a baby girl! She said you went to Mumbai too much and missed a lot of days!（偶想钻桌底下了...)
蓝眼哥哥说： Then how is he supposed to do to get a baby girl?
听到这问题，偶吓晕了，大儿子说：He should set up a baby crib, paint one of our rooms pink, and get baby swing and toys. He is not doing any of these things. I think that is why my mommy was complaining that he is not working hard！
老二说：Mommy is not working hard either. She should eat a lot of junk food, like Nancy's mommy.(nancy's mommy怀孕时有food crave, 整天想吃chips) Then she would have a big fat tummy, like nancy's mommy. Then we will have a baby sister！：）
老二说：my mom hates her tummy! The other day, she was putting on a dress. You know， that purple ugly dress, very tight! And she asked me if that would show her belly. I said "a little bit". And she punched her tummy and said: DamX it! I will skip my lunch today!
偶彻底晕了，LG红着脸，转着手里的酒杯玩儿。现在才理解高英姬高老师的"外嫁辛酸"一文说到，她离婚后见过一个国gg, 后来国gg跟介绍人说，都很好，就是看到她那半大小子，旗杆竖不起来。芦苇mm还说看到外嫁白gg的妹妹晒幸福，心理特别高兴。因为万一那天被LG甩了，拖儿带女的，嫁国gg是不成了（那是自然，国gg标准是年轻漂亮的处长），还可以嫁白gg幸福，也还有退路:-)
不过看来俺是只有死守LG, 没有退路了，这俩半大小子，看来能让全世界哥哥旗杆都竖不起来. 这不，俺还没来得及跟蓝眼哥哥抛个媚眼呢，他就忙不跌说：You guys really like to have a baby sister, don't you? I'd better shut up.....拔腿就跑。。。
不好意思，俺钻桌底下跟大家招手了： Happy Mother's Day!
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