基督徒如何处理冲突矛盾

罗马书说没有义人，连一个都没有。耶稣本是神，受天父的差遣来到世上，他是无罪的，却为罪人死在了十字架上，替罪人受了惩罚。凡相信这个好消息的人，末日的时候不再有第二次的死（见启示录第20章），而是被耶稣复活，有永生。耶稣在被钉死后的第三天复活，显现给门徒看后回到了天父身边，替众圣徒祈求直到今日。

耶稣为罪人而死，这样无私的爱是何等的长阔高深！那我们这些做门徒的，若有人得罪我们，该怎么办呢？

我们这些门徒原本也是罪人，是因为相信了耶稣，从而有了耶稣的所赐之义，因此在天父的眼里，我们披戴了耶稣基督，成为了义人。我们生活的周围，有耶稣的门徒，更有非门徒。即使是门徒，对耶稣的爱的认识也有深有浅，抵抗诱惑的能力也有强有弱，不求自己益处的精神也有高有低。因此人无完人，罪行随处可见随时发生。那如果弟兄或周围的人得罪了自己怎么办呢？

答案：赦免+劝勉，同时小心自己别被诱惑了。

耶稣教导我们不可“以眼还眼，以牙还牙”，而是“要爱你们的仇敌，为那逼迫你们的祷告”。若有人（无论是配偶，孩子，老人，弟兄姐妹，主内弟兄姐妹，朋友，同事，甚至陌生人）得罪了你，这是基督徒处理矛盾冲突的方案，也是与非基督徒处理矛盾冲突的根本区别。保罗在加拉太书也重申，若有人犯罪，我们这些属灵的人当用温柔的心把他或她挽回来，同时小心自己别被诱惑。别被诱惑就是说不要以眼还眼，不要论断对方；若对方暴怒，你这属灵的人当依然要保持一颗温柔和平的心，不可像对方一样暴怒或怒骂。耶稣在马太福音里也劝告门徒们要从心里饶恕人，因为神已经在耶稣基督里饶恕了我们这些做门徒的。

相关经文
罗5:6 因我们还软弱的时候、基督就按所定的日期为罪人死。
For while we were yet weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.
罗5:7 为义人死是少有的、为仁人死或者有敢作的。
For one will hardly die for a righteous man. Yet perhaps for a righteous person someone would even dare to die.
罗5:8 惟有基督在我们还作罪人的时候为我们死、神的爱就在此向我们显明了。
But God commends his own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
罗5:9 现在我们既靠着他的血称义、就更要借着他免去神的忿怒。
Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we will be saved from God's wrath through him.
罗5:10 因为我们作仇敌的时候、且借着神儿子的死、得与 神和好、既已和好、就更要因他的生得救了。
For if, while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we will be saved by his life.
罗5:11 不但如此、我们既借着我主耶稣基督、得与神和好、也就借着他、以神为乐。
Not only so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received the reconciliation.

弗3:14 因此我在父面前屈膝、
For this cause, I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
弗3:15 （天上地上的各〔或作全〕家、都是从他得名)
from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named,
弗3:16 求他按着他丰盛的荣耀、借着他的灵、叫你们心里的力量刚强起来、
that he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, that you may be strengthened with power through his Spirit in the inward man;
弗3:17 使基督因你们的信、住在你们心里、叫你们的爱心、有根有基、
that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; to the end that you, being rooted and grounded in love,
弗3:18 能以和众圣徒一同明白基督的爱、是何等长阔高深、
may be strengthened to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,
弗3:19 并知道这爱是过于人所能测度的、便叫神一切所充满的、充满了你们。
and to know Christ's love which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
弗3:20 神能照着运行在我们心里的大力、充充足足的成就一切超过我们所求所想的．
Now to him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us,
加3:27 你们受洗归入基督的、都是披戴基督了。
For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ.
加6:1 弟兄们、若有人偶然被过犯所胜、你们属灵的人、就当用温柔的心、把他挽回过来．又当自己小心、恐怕也被引诱。
Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; looking to yourself so that you also aren't tempted.
加6:2 你们各人的重担要互相担当、如此、就完全了基督的律法。
Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
太5:44 只是我告诉你们、要爱你们的仇敌．为那逼迫你们的祷告。
But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you。
太18:21 那时彼得进前来、对耶稣说、主阿、我弟兄得罪我、我当饶恕他几次呢。到七次可以么。
Then Peter came and said to him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Until seven times?"
太18:22 耶稣说、我对你说、不是到七次、乃是到七十个七次。
Jesus said to him, "I don't tell you until seven times, but, until seventy times seven.
太18:23 天国好象一个王、要和他仆人算帐。
Therefore the Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king, who wanted to reconcile accounts with his servants.
太18:24 才算的时候、有人带了一个欠一千万银子的来。
When he had begun to reconcile, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents.
太18:25 因为他没有甚么偿还之物、主人吩咐把他和他妻子儿女、并一切所有的都卖了偿还。
But because he couldn't pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, with his wife, his children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
太18:26 那仆人就俯伏拜他说、主阿、宽容我将来我都要还清。
The servant therefore fell down and kneeled before him, saying, 'Lord, have patience with me, and I will repay you all!'
太18:27 那仆人的主人、就动了慈心、把他释放了、并且免了他的债。
The lord of that servant, being moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.
太18:28 那仆人出来、遇见他的一个同伴、欠他十两银子、便揪着他、掐住他的喉咙、说、你把所欠的还我。
"But that servant went out, and found one of his fellow servants, who owed him one hundred denarii, and he grabbed him, and took him by the throat, saying, 'Pay me what you owe!'
太18:29 他的同伴就俯伏央求他、说、宽容我吧、将来我必还清。
"So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, 'Have patience with me, and I will repay you!'
太18:30 他不肯、竟去把他下在监里、等他还了所欠的债。
He would not, but went and cast him into prison, until he should pay back that which was due.
太18:31 众同伴看见他所作的事、就甚忧愁、去把这事都告诉了主人。
So when his fellow servants saw what was done, they were exceedingly sorry, and came and told to their lord all that was done.
太18:32 于是主人叫了他来、对他说、你这恶奴才、你央求我、我就把你所欠的都免了．
Then his lord called him in, and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt, because you begged me.
太18:33 你不应当怜恤你的同伴、像我怜恤你么。
Shouldn't you also have had mercy on your fellow servant, even as I had mercy on you?'
太18:34 主人就大怒、把他交给掌刑的、等他还清了所欠的债。
His lord was angry, and delivered him to the tormentors, until he should pay all that was due to him.
太18:35 你们各人、若不从心里饶恕你的弟兄、我天父也要这样待你们了。
So my heavenly Father will also do to you, if you don't each forgive your brother from your hearts for his misdeeds."