可能的职场凌霸。这周的更新。Director R又提出了针对我的一些没有任何凭证的指控。

来源: FightCovid19 2023-08-18 17:51:16 [] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 本文已被阅读: 次 (7911 bytes)

网友们好!谢谢大家一直以来的跟读和帮助!我说一下这周发生的事情。比较长,请大家多多包涵。

8/15 我收到R的一封邮件,内容如下:

It has come to my attention that you have been asking new staff in the office about their work schedule and flexibilities; and further engaging in unprofessional discussion/conduct. In addition, you are discussing and trying to compare your merit increase with other staff. Your behavior continues to make colleagues uncomfortable.  As a second warning, I am asking you not to engage in unprofessional conduct. You have been provided means to discuss questions and concerns you may have directly with me.

我马上给她和Employee Relations 的L回邮件,问R what “further engaging in unprofessional discussion/conduct.” I did。我又解释了事情的来龙去脉。我们上周有个新人M告诉我她8:30上班。她应聘时可以选择a start time between 7:30-8:30. That was when I said I wish I had the same treatment from my supervisor, allowing me to pick a time during the same timeframe. I definitely didn’t ask about flexibility as I didn’t know that was even an option. 关于工资的事,my comment was that I got 2.8% raise this time and I’m totally okay with it. I know the average is 3.5% so I said since 我们部门有三个人are salaried, they definitely work more than 40 hours a week. So I’m glad that 0.7% I didn’t get would mean they could get more than 3.5%, which they totally deserve. That was all what happened. 然后说有人给R feed false information about my behavior. Please investigate it while everyone’s memory is still fresh because this just happened last week. I do not believe I had engaged in any unprofessional discussion/ conduct regarding the work hours or pay rate as R accused me of.

很快R就给我和L send a meeting invite called “touchbase”. 8/16 我给她俩发邮件,坚持等L调查结束后再开会,并要求L给会议录像,这样的话 any he said she said situation would be avoided.。如果不能录像,I would then recommend to have another director and above level leader (or another staff member from L’s team) to join the meeting as an impartial third party witness. 并且说if L did indeed find my conduct were inappropriate, please point out to me the relevant 单位policies so I can learn from it。L告诉我她会找一个同事来参加我们的会。

会议是昨天开的。L当然没有发现我做错什么。她只是提醒我有人可能会觉得uncomfortable 谈论工资的事。我还是想把我的上班时间改回到8:45-5:15. The reason R given for changing my schedule to 8-4:30 is because that is the schedule of everyone. R还假惺惺的问我谁可以晚来。目的就是让我说出这两个同事的名字,她将来好利用来挑拨我和同事的关系。我说出了T(她8:45来)和M。 L一定是想帮我,说她会去调查那两个人的schedule。我估计她现在也特别烦R这种无端指责别人的行为。我今天上午在楼道里看到了T,就悄悄地告诉了她R昨天是如何逼我供出她和M的。我在后面提到的今天给employee relations的两个与会者(L和她的同事A)的邮件里也说Knowing R well by now, 当她问我谁可以晚来I immediately realized she would someday change their schedule (T和M的)to 8-4:30 when they displease her and tell them she has to do it because of me.

As I had expected, R在会上 made fresh new accusations again me and she accused me of under-performing after she purposely added another FTE workload to my original full time job. R还 accused me of not doing my job while I’m alone in the office. Her evidence was that I had my friend visit me in the office.

我今天给L和A发邮件,总结了一下昨天的会议。同时要求他们调查R对我的这些新的不实指控(have IT look into my computer activities around 5 PM on 6/9/23. This would clear my name of R’s yet another false accusation).我朋友是在6月9号5点左右拿一些basil苗给我。因为那天天很热,我就邀他进来喝点凉水。我又提出已经有两年多我都是单位最后走的人,而且朋友来是在六月份,R偏偏现在才说我一个人在办公室“God knows doing what” (her own words). Then she again changed my schedule to 8-4:30 on 7/20. Aren’t both of these clear indications she was retaliating me for my refusal to follow her request of not bringing up the issues to L that Tina had been mistreating me for a long period of time?

R accused me of under-performing. This is something I predicted would happen the day she assigned another full time job work to my original full time job. 我要求L 和 A assess the workload R had assigned to me. Were her actions abuse of power and retaliatory?

R一直在催我培训T。现在她说我under performing。我就问L和A,Now that R accused me of being under performing, does that automatically disqualify me as a trainer? Shouldn’t she be trained by a top performer, instead of an under performer? There’re two members in my team who used to do my current job and are well qualified to do the training. 培训定在了下周五。我会在那天发邮件给R,质疑under performer的qualification as a trainer.

邮件结尾时我说,I’d like to share with you that I’m trying to find a new job. All the accusations from R are mentally and physically draining, making it impossible to focus 100% on a job I love so much. My sleep pattern greatly suffers from it too. I can’t work for someone who doesn’t appreciate my hard work,  talent and skills,  who belittles and devalues my work, and baselessly question my professional ethics. I’m in constantly fear that she would make more false accusations against me or find excuses to fire me. My heart was broken when I realized I have to sneakily do my original job, because R told me I have to spent 50% or 75% of time on the new job she added to my list. I wish I had spent the time working instead of writing this kind of unproductive (in the sense of doing my actual job) emails, but this is my way of crying for help from experts like you guys and desperately trying to improve this toxic work environment I’m trapped in。

我昨天曾经建议A去了解我这个case的来龙去脉。他比L资格老(他是senior的职位),但从他昨天的发言可以看出,他一点都不了解情况。我在邮件里附上有关我这个case的所以邮件,以便他参考。

顺便说一下找工作的情况。我拿到四个pre-screening. 其中一个觉得我不太合适。另外一个给的工资实在太低。还有一个工作在我以前工作过的一个单位。一个前同事曾经告诉我她的工资,和我现在的差不多。没有想到我申请的这个工作比她的职位高,工资反而不怎么样。我和面试的人说,我会看整个package。不知道我能不能进到第二轮面试。第四个工作不错,但可能会有能力更好的申请者。我本来想扩大申请范围,然后就发生了R的这些无端指责。这个周末会大概看看找工作的事情,但我现在完全明白了找一份和目前工资相当的工作难度很高。既然R这么能作,还不如留在这个单位看看她如何蹦跶,及蹦跶多久。R的上司下周休假回来。我会把最近的邮件发给她。并且特意提到R对我没完没了的无端指责和打击报复。

再次感谢大家的支持和鼓励。我会尽量调整好自己的情绪,和保持平稳的心态。下周有新情况我会接着更新。祝大家周末愉快!

所有跟帖: 

你有点直肠子。手腕和这些人不在一个层面。比如她问谁可以晚来。你不应该接茬儿。关系不融洽多说多错。 -julie116- 给 julie116 发送悄悄话 julie116 的博客首页 (257 bytes) () 08/18/2023 postreply 18:37:54

但是她主动出击你也必须要为自己辩护。必要时需要个律师或coach。还有就是以后那句话应该说,哪句话是自己的 -julie116- 给 julie116 发送悄悄话 julie116 的博客首页 (117 bytes) () 08/18/2023 postreply 18:50:25

非常好的建议。谢谢Julie的教诲。 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/18/2023 postreply 19:09:39

谢谢Julie的回复。我确实是直性子,也根本谈不上什么手腕。属于理工女里的nerd。所以才会搞的现在一地鸡毛。 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (471 bytes) () 08/18/2023 postreply 19:08:20

你要注意多收集她的把柄。自己谨言慎行尽量不给她创造机会 -julie116- 给 julie116 发送悄悄话 julie116 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 08/18/2023 postreply 19:16:19

好的。谢谢! -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/18/2023 postreply 20:21:32

她揪住你问别人工作时间不职业你的defense 是工作时间应该是standard, transparent to -julie116- 给 julie116 发送悄悄话 julie116 的博客首页 (61 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 09:59:31

Julie说的对。我也许还应该反问她作为主管,她难道需要问我下属的工作时间吗? -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 11:13:45

能問問樓主是啥領域的工作麽 ? -dajiang123- 给 dajiang123 发送悄悄话 (464 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 06:50:22

随着多元文化这锅粥逐渐升温,普通人以后会越来越难 -弯刀月- 给 弯刀月 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 11:12:00

弯刀月网友说的很对。某些族裔即使工作能力和人品很差,单位也不敢开除。我觉得自己就碰到这样的上司。只能自认倒霉了吧。 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 11:24:58

谢谢dajiang网友的回复。请看我给您的悄悄话。 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 11:29:12

安慰楼主。 建议收集证据, document everything,少和对方口头交流,我们毕竟是用第二语言,也不擅长 -三闺女妈- 给 三闺女妈 发送悄悄话 (417 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 09:12:20

非常感谢“三闺女妈”网友的建议和吉言!您的理解,鼓励和支持让我更有信心坚持到胜利! -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 11:10:50

也不能说的太多,给人留下把炳 -willows- 给 willows 发送悄悄话 willows 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 17:36:53

书面的尤其要当心 -julie116- 给 julie116 发送悄悄话 julie116 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 17:58:08

是。Julie的谨言慎行是非常的建议! -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 20:27:53

对方都什么人种? -弯刀月- 给 弯刀月 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 11:09:00

西部非洲有钱人家的千金小姐。亲属在英美都有。小时侯在英国上过学。在美国中西部拿的药学PhD。 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (182 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 11:21:31

在美国的尼日利亚人平均教育水平比中国人高,公司里大多是director manager级别 -skipjack1- 给 skipjack1 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 14:22:53

R 来自尼日利亚附近的一个小国家。我最早的贴里提到那个也被Tina bully的前同事就是尼日利亚人,有一个牙科的博士 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (110 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 15:12:51

他说家里兄弟姐妹们都是专业人士。他们夫妇俩在东部有很多亲戚,所以就搬到新洲了。 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 15:38:11

我说明一下,我现在也不想和R斗,但她的这些指控,都可以作为开除我的借口。所以我不得不要求人力部调查以证明这些指控不成立。 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 15:22:13

也就是拖一段时间,赶紧找下家吧 -willows- 给 willows 发送悄悄话 willows 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 17:37:37

谢谢willows网友的回复。我现在不急着找工作了。自己年纪比较大了。若这份工作没了,我会休息一段时间。回国探亲和旅游。 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 20:41:40

就是说你的比赛对手既是运动员又是裁判,这场比赛还没开始结局就已经定了!!! -圆老扁- 给 圆老扁 发送悄悄话 圆老扁 的博客首页 (688 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 18:54:36

谢谢老扁网友的回复。您的这个比喻太形象了!我最开始的时候确实是太冲动了。找一个25刀/小时的工作比较容易。我都快55岁了 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (132 bytes) () 08/19/2023 postreply 20:37:01

恭喜你!文字和行为都像19岁 -圆老扁- 给 圆老扁 发送悄悄话 圆老扁 的博客首页 (367 bytes) () 08/20/2023 postreply 06:03:04

谢谢老扁!可能我是那种特别晚熟naive 类型的人吧。很喜欢你提到的这首歌!就是忘了歌名了:) -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/20/2023 postreply 06:11:18

那歌叫 -圆老扁- 给 圆老扁 发送悄悄话 圆老扁 的博客首页 (681 bytes) () 08/20/2023 postreply 07:26:48

啊,就是这首歌!我要早点来坛里学习的话,就不会那么冲动了:)我的头绝对没有想到,我居然不怕丢工作。收集了这么多证据, -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (183 bytes) () 08/20/2023 postreply 08:50:14

快退休了才有斗争的底气。 -julie116- 给 julie116 发送悄悄话 julie116 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 08/20/2023 postreply 17:48:27

不是可能, 我确实是一个很 naive 的人。想想老天对我这么一个资质平凡的人其实很不错。有一份不错的工作。婚姻中也没有 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (84 bytes) () 08/20/2023 postreply 06:29:24

握手...握手 -圆老扁- 给 圆老扁 发送悄悄话 圆老扁 的博客首页 (344 bytes) () 08/20/2023 postreply 07:36:34

其实我上大学之后很快就发现自己情商极低。也从来没有天之骄子的感觉。我们毕业后当时也需要自己找工作。我在职场也没有那么顺利 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (199 bytes) () 08/20/2023 postreply 08:40:56

托尔斯泰在"战争与和平“成稿后又前前后后修改了5遍,那么你的檄文全可以利用现代网络技能把你的邮件内容用词和语气重新润色, -danren- 给 danren 发送悄悄话 danren 的博客首页 (261 bytes) () 08/20/2023 postreply 12:55:05

谢谢Danren 的回复。我确实应该注册一个ChatGPT账号。 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/20/2023 postreply 18:02:29

你英文水年很高啊。面对霸凌,不能纵容她。 -巴山夜猫狸- 给 巴山夜猫狸 发送悄悄话 巴山夜猫狸 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 08/20/2023 postreply 22:57:58

谢谢巴山网友的美言和鼓励!我的英文一般。和本地人比差太多了。 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/24/2023 postreply 19:49:59

这个R为何敢这么硬气,可能1)她就是好斗,本来就是斗争出来的。据说她曾经赢过 -秒秒- 给 秒秒 发送悄悄话 秒秒 的博客首页 (427 bytes) () 08/21/2023 postreply 10:51:46

谢谢秒秒网友的支持和祝愿。R家里是西部非洲的有钱人家。我觉得她这么硬气可能和这个有关。还有就是现在流行的黑命贵。她给我的 -FightCovid19- 给 FightCovid19 发送悄悄话 (327 bytes) () 08/24/2023 postreply 20:05:32

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