Time to leave. Enjoy your Honeymoon period

Resign, first thing in the morning, just give your 2 week notice. 

I don't think they will ask you to sign the review.   If they do, please write "Thank you" and sign it.  Don't write anything else.  They know you mean "Thank you" as FK you.

Smile, keep that smile on your face all day.   Keep all conversation short: Please, Thank you, Have a nice day.  Leave early everyday.  Enjoy your honeymoon period.