By Mary Frost
Brooklyn Daily Eagle
BOROUGH PARK — The nightmare abduction and murder of 8-year-old Leiby Kletzky in Borough Park on Monday has devastated the family and chilled the hearts of parents around the world. The randomness of the tragedy makes it even more terrifying.
Can parents do anything to protect their child against unlikely yet unthinkable events like this? The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (www.missingkids.com) provides advice for parents seeking to teach their children about safety on the street. The group stresses that young children should always be supervised by a parent or another trusted adult. Older children, however, should be taught in advance how to recognize and avoid potentially dangerous situations — and get out of them as soon as possible.
Annie Ellman, co-founder and program director at Brooklyn Center for Anti-Violence Education (CAE, www.carny.org), which offers self-protection classes to women, children, teens and LGBT people, says that parents should discuss safety with children old enough to be out on their own. “Children have a lot more power than they or their parents often think,” she told the Eagle Wednesday.
Children should learn they have the right to say no and set limits, Ellman said. “They should practice this in all their interactions. If parents want their kids to have skills in dangerous situations, they should practice them in non-dangerous situations. Children can practice yelling loudly — that can be done at home. They can learn what body parts to attack if they’re getting dragged off the street.”
Teach your children it is more important to get out of a threatening situation than it is to be polite. “It’s OK to tell a lie for safety, to be rude or not follow the rules,” she said. “For example, if a little boy is being hurt, he can go into the women’s bathroom to get his mom.”
Here is a survey of what experts from the National Center, CAE and other children’s advocates recommend:
What to Teach Your Child About Safety
1. Don’t talk to people you don’t know or answer their questions. (Don’t use the word “stranger.” If an adult is nice, they can make friends with a child in a minute.)
2. Before you go anywhere with anyone, always get your mom or dad’s permission.
3. Never help an adult do something if mom or dad aren’t right there. Grown-ups do not need help finding puppies or kittens. Grown-ups do not need children to help them carry something to the car or into the house. Nor do they ask kids for directions.
4. Never go with an adult who says mom or dad have been hurt and are in the hospital; never go with an adult who says your mom or dad asked them to pick you up for any reason. Don’t go anywhere with a stranger; run away into a store or other public space if you have to. Parents and children should decide on a special code word like “parakeet.” If anyone picks you up, they must know that secret word.
5. Your body is your own personal business. If anyone asks you personal questions or touches you in any way that makes you feel uncomfortable, say “no,” leave them and tell your mom, dad, teacher or adult in charge.
6. If you need help and a police officer isn’t right there, the best bet is to ask another mother.
7. If you get lost (separated from mom or dad) in a store or another public spot, don’t go looking for them. Stay right where you are; mom or dad will find you.
8. When away from home without your parents, always stick close to your friends and stay in highly populated areas. On a field trip or excursion with other kids, always use the buddy system. Don’t lose sight of your buddy and don’t wander away from the group.
9. Never accept treats, gifts or money from anyone without your parents’ permission.
10. If someone follows you, stay as far away from them as you can; try to go inside a store or another busy place, and ask a clerk, or another parent for help.
11. If someone tries to take you by force, try with all your might to run away. Start screaming immediately: “He’s trying to take me! This is not my father/mother!” If you get away, run as fast as you can and keep screaming. It’s OK to hit, kick and bite.
12. If your parents get off the subway car and you can’t make it out the door with them, calmly get off at the next stop and go to the token booth. Tell the token clerk (if there is one) you are waiting for your parents there. Your parents will get on the next train and will come to the booth and get you. (If you get off the train too soon, do the same thing. Your parents will take the train back a stop and get you.) Look for a mother to wait with if no transit workers are around.
13. If you are going to be even one minute late, call home immediately.
14. Never open the house/apartment door to someone you don’t know. Never let anyone think you are home alone. If someone calls, never give out personal information, and never let them know if you are home alone.
15. Always follow the same route to school, the store and other places that you have discussed ahead of time with your parents. Don’t go anywhere else.
More information can be found at www.carny.org or by emailing info@caeny.org.
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