Should I stay or leave

来源: Tanya06 于 2007-08-10 21:26:43 [] [旧帖] [给我悄悄话] 阅读数 : (2257 bytes)

My question is more complicated than just career advice. I have a lot of problems and issues with my current job. The work hour is too long and environment is too much political. Same time, I also have crush with my boss which makes me can not even focus on the work. For the past several months, I struggled with this strong feeling to him and my behavior became so strange. I overacted his criticism all the time because I care about him way too much. I told him all those gossips that people are doing behind him and sent him all those “kiss ass” type emails. I talk in his office for at least couple hours a day for none work related things or just gossip about other people.

Finally, I decided to leave because I can not work with him professionally and I am going crazy. There are also some work related reasons that I don’t like this place. My previous boss wanted me to go back. The best they can offer me is to match my current salary. The hour is at least 1/3 less and the culture over there is much better, so I will have a much better quality of life there.

I told my boss that I may leave. My boss was so panic and upset. He said to me “I beg you don’t leave”, then his face and eyes turned red. I think he was going to cry so I couldn’t even have eye contact with him. His reaction broke my heart.

He then went to his boss to give me a big raise to let me stay. I had no intention to ask more money at all. The salary raise is much more than I expected. After several days, I told them I would stay. It is not really because of money. I just can not leave him. This week, my everyday at work is same unhappy as before and it is even worse. Any small thing can piss me off so much. I didn’t get anything done because I keep thinking if I made the wrong decision. With this emotion piece in it, I seem can not make a right decision on my career and life. I don’t know if my boss already knew my feeling to him. This is not something that is difficult to figure out. He wanted me stay so badly just because he relies on me to do the work or something else? BTW, I am a good worker and he did rely on me a lot on the work side. I don’t think other place can pay that high so I may get pay cut if I leave now.

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• 走, 长痛不如短痛, 趁还来得及... -豆腐渣的灿烂年华- ♀ 给 豆腐渣的灿烂年华 发送悄悄话 豆腐渣的灿烂年华 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 08/10/2007 postreply 21:40:16

• it has been more than 5 months -Eveline- ♀ 给 Eveline 发送悄悄话 (489 bytes) () 08/10/2007 postreply 22:09:06

• a behavior interview Q -if you want to have affair with your bos -acme- ♀ 给 acme 发送悄悄话 acme 的博客首页 (45 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 08:31:17

• just ask him for dinner. -Eveline- ♀ 给 Eveline 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 09:37:54

• Feel sorry for your Chinese husband.-- me too! -beenthereyes- ♀ 给 beenthereyes 发送悄悄话 beenthereyes 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 19:24:31

• 我是说楼主。是一个对丈夫和孩子远远胜过对工作的女人， -Beenthereyes- ♀ 给 Beenthereyes 发送悄悄话 Beenthereyes 的博客首页 (129 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 19:29:48

• 错了，是说楼主对工作远远胜过对丈夫和孩子。 -Beenthereyes- ♀ 给 Beenthereyes 发送悄悄话 Beenthereyes 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 19:33:42

• I do not understand how do you communicate with your boss -didadida- ♀ 给 didadida 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 02:20:21

• Are you married? is he married? -布衣之才- ♂ 给 布衣之才 发送悄悄话 布衣之才 的博客首页 (425 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 05:54:14

• 你不是男的吗？我敢保证你老板是离婚的。 -131- ♀ 给 131 发送悄悄话 131 的博客首页 (177 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 06:01:31

• Pls sit down to rank what is your priority in life -acme- ♀ 给 acme 发送悄悄话 acme 的博客首页 (282 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 08:35:16

• Agree - think about your priority in life! -3.14159- ♂ 给 3.14159 发送悄悄话 (718 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 16:00:31

• 回复： mess situation. 1) If one of you is married, you better -一平如水- ♀ 给 一平如水 发送悄悄话 一平如水 的博客首页 (426 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 11:23:03

• She is married and have some kids. -PerfectLife- ♀ 给 PerfectLife 发送悄悄话 (395 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 15:02:11

• Yes. Previous posts said that both are married and have kids. -一平如水- ♀ 给 一平如水 发送悄悄话 一平如水 的博客首页 (23 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 15:49:54

• I wouldn't call it "suffer". Actually Let her stew in her own j -PerfectLife- ♀ 给 PerfectLife 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 16:23:58

• Let her stew in her own juice -perfectlife- ♀ 给 perfectlife 发送悄悄话 (0 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 16:24:32

• 回复：She is married and have some kids. -Tanya06- ♂ 给 Tanya06 发送悄悄话 (912 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 17:43:20

• On the page you post, clik "旧帖", 记录在案呢. -一平如水- ♀ 给 一平如水 发送悄悄话 一平如水 的博客首页 (781 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 18:37:37

• good comments. There are many -Smart- ♂ 给 Smart 发送悄悄话 (362 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 18:49:04

• 回复：On the page you post, clik "旧帖", 记录在案呢. -Tanya06- ♂ 给 Tanya06 发送悄悄话 (884 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 18:59:48

• 平衡生活 -布衣之才- ♂ 给 布衣之才 发送悄悄话 布衣之才 的博客首页 (78 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 19:19:00

• 回复：回复：Yes. You should get professional help for your -一平如水- ♀ 给 一平如水 发送悄悄话 一平如水 的博客首页 (81 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 19:24:46

• 听起来感觉怪怪的关系。惺惺相惜？ -海蚌- ♂ 给 海蚌 发送悄悄话 海蚌 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 14:20:09

• 看到你五个月前的帖子。那时候就应该断了 -布衣之才- ♂ 给 布衣之才 发送悄悄话 布衣之才 的博客首页 (0 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 14:32:29

• After reading your previous post,I have to say -smart- ♂ 给 smart 发送悄悄话 (183 bytes) () 08/11/2007 postreply 15:50:55

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